Marriage: A Curse or A Blessing?

You may ask, where on earth did you get an idea to write about marriage? Even you haven't been married. I know, it seems like an absurd topic by someone like me, but I feel like my brain's engine is flooded with too many pieces of speculations. So, I decide to complete the puzzle by writing it down. Here it is.

Starting from when I got back home after finishing my master degree. One day my mom asked me to buy some essentials in a store nearby. The store owner knows my mom which means she also knows me though I rarely have even a small talk with her. Soon after I set my foot in her store, she asked whether I already have a boyfriend or not and when I will get married. Lol. I was like having a surprise welcoming party. Anyway, I don't feel offended by her rude questions since it is a fact that I am on marriage age, well, at least that's what the regulation in my country states, additionally, almost all of my friends from high school and college have been married. Then, suddenly, before I even said a word, she warned me not to get married too soon. She told me that married life is very difficult. You have to manage your household and look after your kids while dealing with your own job, she said that to me with tired expression like someone or something, I am not sure myself, takes away her freedom. I was going back home with an ice cream on my right hand and stuffs on my left's while wondering if it is true that married life could be that miserable. Ah, it may just a matter of time management, I said that to myself. Few days later, another person shared a bitter experience of married life without I am asking about it and it keeps going on and on with one after another. It seems like the universe confronts my thought. Lol. I may be exaggerating but this matter surely sparks my interest.

Another day, I heard that a man stole avocados from his neighbor so that his family could have something to eat. Another man vigorously blackmailed his friend because he has a baby and his family needs rises. A woman intentionally sold her friend's clothes and jewelry and she said that she needed the money to buy necessities for her family. A family didn't pay the rent and left the house with unpaid utilities bills. Truly, it is hard to believe the reason behind such crimes was the existence of family. How can a person becomes so cruel, mean, and selfish for the sake of family? Or is it actually a moral character issue? Some others even shut people off. Does marriage become bad influence?

On the other hand, I met a kind and generous couple with their three kids. They always opened their house for everyone and was ready to help whoever in needs. Though they are not rich, surprisingly, whenever I came to visit them, there were always, yes, always either foods or snacks on the table. What a good hospitality, isn't it? Before my curiousity killed me, I asked them how they could always have foods to eat, moreover it was not only for them but also for everyone who came to their house. Sometimes people who came brought us lots of foods, then some other times we went after a sale in groceries market, they answered me. One summer noon I proved them by myself. I went along with them to the sale market and Geez! it is really far away, especially on foot. Later, I helped them prepare the meals and, you have to believe me, all foods, including the cake and pastry, were homemade. In the end, I stood in awe when the food table was set up. How can a family becomes so selfless and big-hearted? It is a contrary question to what I mentioned in the previous paragraph, isn't it?

An article by ETH Zürich in ScienceDaily 10 October 2013 stated the majority of criminal acts have a socio-economic background. The environmental plays a pivotal role in the behavious of individuals, they added. Well, it starts making sense. When marriage lays on unsettled foundation and the needs rise due to a baby born, the need for education, or simply household essentials, without clear conscience, some chooses the easiest way by taking advantages from others or commiting offenses.

After all, I don't mean to discredit any group of people. Instead, I should give my thanks to those who were willing to share their lifes regardless how bad or good they were. We have to know some bad times, haven't we? Or our lifes are incomplete. Whether you have been married or not, including me who belong to the later group (haha), a house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense. Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables (Proverbs 24:3-5, NLT). Though I cite these words from the Holy Bible, I do believe that goodness is taught by all religion. Even if you don't believe in God, I feel that you can accept those words as the wisdom of life.

One thing that I want to believe and that's what mom told me in one evening.

Marriage is supposed to multiply and magnify the good impacts and blessings toward others