If I Mean to be A Teacher

I always believe in you. That's what she said to me when I visited her in her house. I don't know since when I adore her. In fact, as long as I can remember, she treated me without mercy, gave me a bloody discipline, and whenever she spoke, her words pierced to my heart. They were not the harsh words, actually. It was because she said something right about me, but I hated to admit it. Geez, they surely irritated me. Yet now, I acknowledge her in my life.

A photo uploaded by Mam Yeti on Instagram. She and her students visited The Embassy of Germany in Indonesia.

Her name is Dyah Vollyati. I called her Mam Yeti. She has established an english course in Salatiga, Central Java, which is named after her own name. Pardon, after her own name? Yes, she is that a very confident person. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am not affiliated with her promotion strategy. After all, I bet she is already famous with what she has been through all these time. Likewise, I am not trying to use her to promote my page. I just want to show how much she means in my life.

Right after getting a bachelor degree, I took a TOEFL preparation class and she became my teacher. My personal goal was fulfilling the requirement for national oil and gas job application. I was able to reach my goal by swallowing up more than six hours per day for about 3 months to hone the reading, writing, listening, as well as structure and grammar skills. Mam Yeti is the one that I mentioned in an introductory writing of this blog as my lovely teacher who always prepared a new red pen every time she corrected my writings. Geez! Indeed, they were such tiring days. Though I got paid back well with the TOEFL score, the job applications were pathetic and dissapointing.

Later, I decided to spend my time joining an advanced english class while waiting for another job opportunity which was still expected from oil and gas company. One day, I found myself crying in one of her class. Yes, I was crying. That was embarassing for me since all those days I believe that crying was a sign of weakness. Well, I truly was in the lowest point of my life since no one offered me a job. I was asking myself if I was that bad and more likely the fire inside of me was fading. However, Mam Yeti kept pushing me to get the best of me. No wonder suddenly there was a scream inside of me, Knock it off!  and suddenly my tears flowed down my cheecks. Man, it is hard to believe that she is human. She might be the embodiment of an angel of judgement. Lol.

She took me to her house to make up with me. After I calmed myself down by having her cooks. What a shamless child! Yes, I was (haha). Then, out of the blue, she asked me, what is your dream? She was kidding me, I thought. Although I didn't want to tell her, she kept waiting for my answer with her gaze at me. Very well then, I told her that I want to build a zero waste agriculture industry since energy and material recovery is my expertise and I have an interest in agricultural business. I know it is kind of big dream which needs a large amount of capital. Thus, I strive myself to look for a high paying job. I caught my breath expecting her responses. In fact, I prepared myself hearing some negative remarks which would turn me down like my friends did when they heard about this. Surprisingly, she said to me, When that happens, please let me know. I want to be an investor in your business. I looked at her in awe. She was the first person who encouraged me to pursue my dream, apart from my family. Truly, it set the fire inside of me ablaze. I guess from that time on, I realize that she is a mom.

Now, whenever I returned back to Indonesia or would go abroad, I took my time to visit her even if it is just for catching up with each other. At the moment she is in high spirit to encourage the talented high school students in Salatiga for joining German student exchange program. When you put 'Dyah Vollyati' on the google search, you will find her. Yet I get shocked since she doesn't get any financial benefit from this program. Moreover, others take credit for her hard work. It is infuriating, isn't it. Even so, she remains calm. The idea is with me and the idea is me, she said. Alright then.

Though she has gone through many ups and downs, still, she wants to do the exchange program again in the following year. It brings self-satisfaction for her since it is like polishing diamonds from roughs. She was insane. I barely understand how she becomes that great, that brave, and selfless. Yes, selfless. She is eager to be rich for others. Well, I guess that is what people called passion.

I am the worst loser which means I really hate to lose (haha), so if I mean to be a teacher, at least I want to have a passion like Mam Yeti, even better than hers. Though high education is important, I believe what is in the heart matters most. Likewise, if I find another passion, still, I will not lose to her. I will have higher spirit than she has.

Indeed, I look up at her even without realizing it. She has been my inspiration in so many ways. When the challenges seem to be heavy and life becomes so unfair for me, I call to my mind her words, resistant to fear and tear. When I get worried for what lies in front of me, I remember Hakuna Matata. It means no worries for the rest of your days. She gave me those words when I was about going to UK for a master study.

If grace means God's empowerment to do beyond our natural ability, then she is a grace from God for me because she is a manifestation of God's empowerment to make me able to exceed my capacity. I kept saying if I met her sooner than it was, life may spare me its favor, but when I think about it again, I guess it is better this way. I met her just in the right time and in the right place. That's what makes who I am today. Though I am still trying to find what I mean to be, she has a convidence that I will be able to surpass all the obstacles that lie in front of me. Thus she keeps saying, I always believe in you.

Don't make light of the training and don't give up when you are being corrected.

For if you have been disciplined and are punished, it means you are loved.

(Hebrew 12:3-11, NLT, author's modify)